Keynote 2024-25 Topic Announced: Learning the Art of Being Wrong

My current Keynote Offering is centered within my coaching program:

How to Stop Feeling Terrible: The Art of Managing Your Brain. Step-by-Step.

It is titled: Learning the Art of Being Wrong

In this talk I share the basic concepts of the MIND-BLOWING methodology of Thought Work and Mind Management, and their 5 Key Steps.

These are the steps that will open up the minds, hearts, and ears of your listeners and help show them the importance and urgency right now of learning to genuinely hear one another.

In my vocation, I struggled to deal successfully with difficult people and situations.

I was surrounded by folks I didn't agree with, I felt were unkind or unjust, and, especially early on, never took the time to ask them "why?" they believed what they believed.

We ALL have a "Why" behind what we believe.

This is the focus of my talk.

Building on publicity expert Melissa Cassera's language, I show my "brushstrokes" where I fell down, made mistakes, and made things much worse than they should have been in my first-starting-out years.

I was so ready to change the world, I couldn't see the real person standing two feet in front of me.

In short, I share examples from my own life of where I failed to ask the person I disagreed with "why?" they believed what they believed.

Once I learned to listen to others - especially those whom I may disagree with - through the lens of "it's entirely possible I am wrong," I began to hear and see people differently.

We all have different stories and experiences.

We all come to the table (or the work space) from different social locations, ideologies, systems of meaning-making and belief, what we were told was "right," and what we have been socialized since birth to believe.

When you put your ideas of "being right" aside and truly drill down into asking genuine questions of another, what you excavate is their own experience and story.

What you discover is their "why."

Suddenly, when you discover the "why" of another, you can drop your combative stance and become a listener.

When you hear their story of their "why," it is in that moment of magic you begin to understand their "why."

Even if you still don't agree.

That's ok.

You don't have to.

But you might surprise yourself and have a lovely, even humorous, unexpected conversation.

Even more... you might just learn something.

When you understand Thought Work and Mind Management, what you learn, through the lens of neuroscience, is that none of the thoughts of another person, especially the thoughts you disagree with, are "real," nor are they "fact."

Those "thoughts" and "beliefs" are just words running through their brain, simply generated through the lens of how they see the world.

In short; through their unique story.

Thoughts and beliefs are basically "word salad."

Another person's beliefs, no matter how contrary to yours they may be, are not "fact."

Those thoughts, beliefs, and opinions are not necessarily "right."

But here's the kicker.

Neither are ours.

Much of the unhealth and disagreement out in the world right now is rooted in our ideas of being "right" and the other "wrong."

Much of the dysfunction out there right nw is rooted in not listening to others, not hearing, not asking the most important question of another we could possibly ask: "what happened to make you believe what you believe? Why?"

Humanity's insistence on always being "right," being the "insider" while others are deemed "outsider" only leads to conflict, stress, anxiety, unhealth, and, often, depression and other mental health issues.

This is unnecessary and preventable suffering.

When you learn The Art of Being Wrong, what you will learn is The Art of Humility. What you will gain is The Art of Active Listening, Emotional Intelligence and Adulthood.

What you begin to practice is The Art of Granting Others Their Human Dignity.

You can still disagree with them without being disagreeable, and without the acute stress, anxiety, conflict, and ruminations that can really mess up your day.

This is simply because when you can:

A. Be open to hearing another's story, you can then understand their "why." This is the first step to empathy. Storytelling.

B. Begin to process the truth. That truth is that all of our thoughts and beliefs are not real. They aren't facts that can be proven in a court of law. They are only opinion. And opinion cannot hurt you,

You will begin to see the world and the people in it in an entirely different way. That way is one of welcome, hospitality, curiosity, and still having healthy boundaries that matter to you.

If our goal is to create those healthy environments, whether at work, at home, or in our social circles, then the only way forward to achieving that goal is through storytelling and active listening. 

Most of us have done enough talking.

It's time for us to listen.

Let's try asking about a person's "why" and then opening up out hearts, minds, brains, and ears to genuinely hear what they have to say.

You would be surprised at how you begin to respond, rather than react, and seek to understand, rather than cut-off because you are so sure you are right.

This brief but jam-packed talk aims to create resonance with the listeners in this time of such a divisive climate with the hopes of laying a foundation for true, genuine curiosity of the other. 

Especially when the other believes things you just cannot fathom.

It is curiosity that is often the balm to contention.

It is mind-bending what you can begin to learn about those you would least likely engage with at first blush when you simply ask them "why" and consider one of the most urgent ideas of our time: the idea that you might not be right. It's a catastrophic though, believe me. I know.

Through teaching the basics of thought work and mind management, your listeners should leave this talk with the tools to identify thoughts from facts, feelings from facts, and find empowerment in the realization that the opinions and beliefs of others cannot hurt them.

They will leave with a renewed sense of emotional intelligence and be inspired to engage with others from the space of emotional adulthood.

And they will leave in a revitalized state of true curiosity of others rather than such assurity in always being right. 

In a nutshell, it's "Sticks and Stones" for grown ups.

However, when we learn to live in this uncomfortable place of considering we could very well be wrong, that we have more to learn and less to teach, and that other people's stories matter,  whether we choose to agree with them or now, we begin to see the human being for who they are. Just that. Another human being with their own unique story, just like you. 

Of course, there is no room for tolerating bad behavior or abusive actions, nor is this talk condoning not holding others accountable for their actions. What this talk focuses on is the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and opinions of others we struggle to agree with or even understand.

Rather, this talk addresses the detrimental bad habit of jumping to conclusions, of, rather than truly listening, we are just waiting for our next chance to talk. Instead of insisting on our "rightness," training our brains to consider a perspective from a different point of view. Instead of judgment and condemnation, learn the art of curiosity and questioning. 

No, we don't have to agree, but we DO have to acknowledge the human story of one whom you might disagree with.

That small pivot could make all of the difference in our world, one meaningful conversation at at time.

However, we hear we "need to do this" all the time but rarely do we hear "the how" to do it.

No wonder it isn't getting done.

That "how-to" is what this keynote is all about.

It is time for us to get back to meaningful conversations when it comes to hard things.

It is totally doable. 

I will teach you how.

Step-by-step.

May it be so.

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If this talk resonates with your team, group, event, or organization, reach out and let's schedule it!