Charlie’s Story
TL:DR
I would like to take an opportunity for you to get to know me better in more detail, and more about why I started the Studio. Take a hot few minutes when you can, to learn what I do, why I do it, and where I started.
I can’t wait to get to know you better, too!
About The Charlie Hornes Coaching Studio & Charlie’s Story:
Why did I launch the Studio?
Because, there are solutions to what you are struggling with.
It is unnecessary nonsense, and preventable suffering.
You can feel better.
And feel better quickly.
I know.
I get it.
Because it’s my story too…
About me, The Studio, & why you should choose CHCS for your Coaching guidance…
Expert Coaching- Charlie’s Story
The What, The Why, and The Where I Started
What I Do:
I'm a Master Certified Professional Coach focused on teaching you mindset management, getting back your joy, finding your agency, real change and transformation, and your success out in this world, just to name a few.
Oh, and, if this resonates… how to be a boss b*tch.
I am also confident in getting you results QUICKLY or I will work with you FOR FREE.
I only take on new clients who are a good fit.
That’s the sum total of what I do.
Why I Do It:
I am graduating with my Doctorate degree May 2024 and my research is on this work I do in my Coaching Practice with self-identified women and their allies.
I help self-identified women who are struggling out in the world, facing all of the ridiculous, time-wasting, mind-numbing, nonsensical, and often collectively traumatic issues and barriers women face every single day - yet we still don’t talk much about it.
BECAUSE…
We have been trained by socialized patriarchy not to since we were children.
Often, we don’t even see ourselvesjumping through these ridiculous, social expectations and hoops, complying and compromising at every turn…
It is so deeply engrained in us.
It was so deeply engrained in me and I didn’t even know it. And I graduated with my Masters from one of the most progressive, social justice oriented schools out there…
We have been trained to “suck it up” or else “we can’t hack it.”
Don’t complain. Don’t be so sensitive. Don’t be so dramatic, emotional…
Don’t rock the boat.
We deal with dysfunctional systems, gaslighting, sexism, misogyny, cognitive dissonance, sometimes even emotional, verbal, psychological abuse and are expected to just put up with it as if…
That’s just life.
Women get second-guessed, told what to do and how to do it, have their competency and authority questioned, get treated like a male boss or coworkers inerrant, wayward daughter…
Often this behavior happens in the shadows. Where others cannot see and cannot help. Because it is their word against yours.
We are socialized to believe that - maybe they are right. Maybe we did it wrong? Maybe we don’t deserve success or happiness? Maybe we deserve the criticism, the second-guessing, the doubt, the questioning…
None of that is true.
Why can I help you if any of this is resonating with you?
Because I get it.
I’ve been there and not only survived, but learned to thrive.
But I did it mostly on my own.
You don’t have to.
Here’s why…
I have 25-years experience coaching women in many different capacities.
I am called and passionate about working with women to avoid the unnecessary nonsense and preventable suffering I faced in my career and my life.
Whether significantly acute, or just plain, MIND-BENDING-LY FRUSTRATING, women shouldn’t have to deal with such every-day challenges men out in the world do not.
Where I Started:
My first career in my 20’s was working as a union, card-carrying, professional actress in NYC after graduating with my Bachelors from an NYC acting conservatory.
I did some cool stuff. Commercials, modeling, worked on all of the movies and TV shows shot in the City. Nothing too fancy.
Romance Novel Cover modeling was my favorite gig, tho.
I supported myself.
Yes, I was Catherine Zeta-Jones’s stand in on The Terminal (I still have the paystub to prove it, lol.)
I made a decent living.
But I never had a sense of fulfillment. Of purpose. Of a truly satisfying life.
I found myself drawing young women like myself struggling with all sorts of life issues, low self-esteem, self-doubt, body dysmorphia, over-drinking - all the things - in need of help, and I found myself being good at helping.
It felt like a gift that came naturally to me.
Helping others helped me overcome these challenges for myself, and brought me so much joy, gave me purpose, and those incredible women changed my life for the better.
As I experienced and overcame so many of these issues personally, I helped so many others along the way. And they helped me in ways they could never possibly know.
I started to see I was called to help women like myself. I was passionate about it.
I started to wonder how I could do this for a living.
I was in NYC for 9-11.
I watched, from the roof of my Brooklyn apartment, the second plane hit, and both towers fall.
I still flash back to that day when I hear emergency vehicle sirens sometimes.
I became overwhelmed with the question: How could tragedies like this be allowed to happen in this world?
I was always a spiritual person. God and me were good.
Always.
But, I was SO pissed.
This experience sent me on a spiritual and existential journey which ultimately led me to a progressive Seminary, Union Theological Seminary with Columbia Universities, in NYC -
…and Seminary changed my life.
I graduated with a Masters Degree.
Although more of a questioner, historian, counselor, and theologian, I became an Ordained Minister.
I worked for 10 years in parish ministry with the intention of helping others through my spiritual practices, but what I faced in the Church as a woman minister was absolutely shocking.
I wasn’t prepared for what I call the “Gender Bias Gap” that had preceded me into my field.
It precedes so many of us and often we don’t even know it. It is more often than not, a significant root cause to the resistance and difficulty we face out in our fields, disciplines, and in our very lives.
The sexism, hostility, passive-aggressiveness, personal attacks, unwarranted criticisms, belittling, second-guessed, nit-picked-to-death, verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse, misogyny, external-appearance commentary, my weight commentary, literally all the socialized BS that has caused the collective and mostly silent trauma of women… what I personally have experienced and faced in my vocation from self-identified “Christians” no less, was truly blindsiding, horrifying, ferocious, unkind, and heartbreaking.
What I thought were panic attacks… what I thought were mental health issues… they weren’t.*
I didn’t understand what I was experiencing had NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, my competence, my skills, my gifts, my mental health, my seeming failures - none of it.
AND IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU EITHER.
And even when I did blow it, screw it up, not get it right… whatever… it did not warrant the hostility, passive-aggressiveness, and abuse that was targeted AT me.
HUMANS BLOW IT ALL THE TIME.
These reactions I was experiencing physiologically in my body, that felt horrible, these physiological emotions, were automatic responses my body was creating because of such high-stress situations, significant conflict coming AT me, and my lack of awareness of what was happening TO me.
It was my brain and parasympathetic system trying to protect me.
These physiological emotions caused by our HPA-Axis coming on line and kick-starting our primitive lizard brain, when online for too long, can cause physical illness, real and seeming mental health issues, substance abuse, cognitive dissonance, self-doubt and confusion, reactionary and erratic behavior, and can have long term effects on the neuroplasticity of our brains.
These symptoms are entirely normal for this, honestly, quite common situation many women experience.
It just doesn’t seem normal to you because you are in it. You are experiencing it, and it feels horrible.
We are meant to have Acute Anxiety OR Chronic Anxiety… but not both at once for significant amounts of time.
It does incredible damage to women’s brains.
This is where learning to manage our minds through thought-work is so powerful.
Just wait until you learn about all of this and so much more!
IT’S INCREDIBLE!
I had not been adequately equipped or prepared in my training and education for what was awaiting me out in the trenches, and I was devastated.
Here’s my theory I am writing about:
I really didn’t wake up until I went to Seminary. I was raised in an egalitarian household where everyone carried their weight regardless of gender. If you didn’t cook, you cleaned up.
I, and I really believe many others out there, kind of thought Women’s Liberation was won during the Civil Rights Movement.
The bras were burned… Gloria Steinem, Jane Fonda…
Not all, but many of us.
It wasn’t until I moved back to Texas from the City and began my vocation in parish ministry that I experienced anything like sexism. But, I don’t think I knew what it was.
Because it was not overt.
I believe the value and belief systems people hold that are sexist and misogynistic have not gone away.
They have just caught on that they cannot be so overt with it or else they will get attacked.
So instead, it has started to come out in all kinds of passive-aggressive ways because they can no longer come AT us.
And so we are left not understanding what is going on. That is a vulnerable and dangerous place to be regardless of education and training. Because we can’t see it coming, and often cannot identify it when we get blasted with it from, seemingly, out of no where.
I kinda wish they did… at least I would’ve known what the problem was.
Women are not adequately equipped, trained, and made aware of what is still so prevalent out in our fields. We are not specifically educated with the Emotional Intelligence to see what it is, why it’s happening, and be infused with the joy and humor to meet it head on. Instead, we react rather than respond. This is the neurobiological piece I can’t wait to teach you!
The “gender-bias gap” preceded us into our fields. Many of us don’t know this. The subjective question is, how wide is that gap for each of us?
We enter into a significantly dysfunctional work-space, and it surprised us. The surprise-factor is key. These are things you never would have known about from an interview. These are things no other previous employee will talk about - maybe for fear of reputation, vocation, signed an NDA, fear of retribution… and you don’t know what you don’t know.
We each bring our own brains into these situations. We all have a unique and subjective level of tolerance for pain, discomfort, and BS. Some of us can laugh it off for a myriad of reasons - we were raised in a household that prepared us in a different way, we were well equipped, we had fantastic mentors… all types of things. But some acute situations, no one is prepared for. And we do not know what our tolerance threshold is until we are in the pressure-cooker situation, and how can we self-assess how to deal with a pressure-cooker situation if we have yet to discover what our threshold is? It’s a lose-lose.
OR
We could equip one another to be prepared for what will inevitably come AT us in some form or fashion in all of our fields and disciplines.
It’s like a BINGO card. You get the card, and a few weeks, months, a year in, you can yell “BINGO!” because all the stuff WE ALL KNOW YOU WILL INEVITABLY FACE has probably happened.
And we can have a riotous laugh and the ridiculousness of it all, with joy, humor, and our personhood and being still fully whole.
HERE’S THE THING
I wish our Institutions, Schools, Programs, would get with the program and do better.
I wish our male colleagues and the women who do the work of the patriarchal system for it, would get with the program and do better. We’ve been waiting DECADES for this systemic change. Yes, Institutions, men, and women who are complicit need to do the work towards change.
BUT THEY AREN’T. AND THEY WON’T.
TOO MUCH IS AT STAKE FOR THEM.
The level and depth of internal self-reflection… the level of admittance to complicity… the level of change they would have to enact… the level of guilt they would have to face and endure…
It’s not gonna happen. At least not yet. And we cannot keep waiting around, getting proverbially beat upin the shadows
We will not stop working towards this.
HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS
There are solutions.
Many solutions.
Useful, joyful, long-lasting, powerful, take-back-my-agency, solutions.
That is why I started my Coaching Practice.
I have spent many years researching, learning, getting certifications, trainings, researching, more education and experience, in order to just survive.
Because of all of this work I have done, today I don’t just survive. I thrive.
SO CAN YOU!
Today, I love my story. It was hard. It was full of hard, hard things. But I learned what real hard things were. And I learned I can do (real) hard things! (Thanks Glennon!) Yes. I can do hard things…
Joyfully.
The external circumstances, the people, all of it that swirls around me, tries to come AT me… it no longer matters. I no longer react. I honestly no longer care. It doesn’t matter anymore what someone says AT me, does AROUND me, tries to elicit IN me… I am good with me and no one is going to interfere with my joy again. No one. This is what my coaches have taught me. It has been life-changing.
It takes hard, satisfying work, a day at a time, but it is absolutely possible.
I can do hard things with a heart full of love for anyone, even the worst of them, no matter what circumstances come at me. I can take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings, and keep my side of the street clean without letting loose the lizard brain or giving away my power and agency to people who don’t care, and don’t deserve it.
And, I can also be a Boss B*tch.
Confident, cool, with no one messing with my sense of internal fulfillment and purpose today.
No matter what.
And I wouldn’t change my story for the world because I love who it has shaped me into, through the refining fire.
But I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, and that is why I am here.
To teach you everything I learned the hard way and help you find your joy and purpose so much faster than I did.
There are solutions!
YOU can be a Boss B*tch too!
There are 5 Key Steps to achieve this level of self-confidence, self-assurance, self-love, self-worth, self-esteem, internal value, and meet your internal Bad As*.
I CANNOT WAIT TO TEACH YOU THIS!
I am a Master Certified Professional Coach, a progressive Seminary trained and Ordained Minister with a Masters Degree, I am a Certified Transitional Minister trained in Dysfunctional Systems, I am a Board Certified Chaplain, and soon to be “The Rev. Dr.”
I am dedicated to guiding your journey with personalized strategies based in my specific research, experience, training, and education. Regardless of you faith and belief systems, or lack of them, often, when we deal with significant challenges in our lives…
We ask the BIG questions.
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US DO.
We ask Why? How? Why me? Why them?
What did I do to deserve this?
What kind of God would let this happen?
We ALL ask these metaphysical and philosophical questions that twist our brains up and cause us unbelief, doubt, confusion, and ultimately, to question our greater purpose in this short life.
Here’s more good news….
THIS is what I am trained extensively in.
THIS is my body of research.
Not only do I coach, teach, and counsel from a secular perspective, my spiritual training, interfaith Board Certified Chaplaincy Certification, and experience as an Ordained Minister provide me an exclusive toolkit, and uniquely qualifies me to help you process these complexities, these BIG questions, whether through a spiritual, philosophical, or metaphysical lens, and provide you significant support towards maximum results and joy.
I guarantee it.
My Chaplaincy Board Certification is a post-graduate, clinical certification, and has equipped me with extensive training, skill, and experience to provide spiritual counseling to all faiths, denominations, to atheists, agnostics, seekers, questioners, doubters, believers…
My Coaching Practice is not about you agreeing with me.
I do provide trained Spiritual Direction and counseling as an offering, to any one interested, and spiritual support in my practice is always optional and available, it is only for those it will be helpful for and who specifically request that type of coaching.
I am adept, educated, and experienced in providing care for those of all faiths or some of faith, of questioning faith, or of no faith at all.
Where ever you are, it’s OK
YOU are in the right place
You do NOT have to have all of the answers and you do not have to have a specific belief system to achieve massive and fast results with my Coaching Practice.
I am here to provide you a safe, nonjudgmental space, and to journey with and alongside you as you find the answers you seek.
I am not here to tell you what to believe, how to believe, what to do, and what not to do.
YOU are the only authority you need.
My Coaching Practice, through my own training and the training of my own coaches, teaches me to hold, in the highest regard, space for meeting YOU where YOU are, meeting YOUR needs, and providing the most beneficial support and skilled coaching that will work best for YOU for the fastest, long-lasting, and meaningful, life-changing, transformational results.
This is not about me.
This is your story.
I can help you write an incredible one for your future self.
She will thank you for it.
What you should know:
Coaching, Chaplaincy, and Ministry are unregulated fields.
Many are not aware that the these helping vocations are an entirely unregulated industry.
You do not need to have any qualifications, education, training, or certifications to broadly work in these fields.
Anyone can wake up one day and call themselves a “Life Coach,” a “Chaplain,” an “Ordained Minister.”
You can get these “certifications” on line to use these titles.
Would you see a medical doctor that didn’t go to Medical School and have proper training, and trust them with you life? With the life of your family?
That is why working with a Master Certified Professional Coach like myself, who brings extensive training, research, and education is a MUST in order for you to work towards your goals in a safe, nonjudgemental, and healthy environment, resting assured your investment in your future, your success, goal achievement and your mental health are in fantastic, trained, certified, and capable hands.
Why would you not spend the cost of as little as what you would spend once a week for a nice dinner, as an investment into your mental health, your joy, your agency, and your well-being?
Why would you not invest in your future self?
She will thank you and you will reap the returns on the investment for the rest of your life!
You will get that assurety and peace of mind with The Charlie Hornes Coaching Practice. Trained and Certified Coaches KNOW aCoaching Practice is not clinical therapy or medical treatment.Certified Coaches work in partnership with our clinical colleagues.
Coaching focuses on more highly-functioning clients who can or who need help identifying specific issues that are currently blocking their path forward to success.
We help you identify where you are now and where you want to be.Our job is to coach you through bridging that gap with tools, techniques, methodology, and evidence-based practices.
Evidence-Based Insights and Practices:
I blend science-backed methodology, research from my Doctoral work, my unique and extensive training, and transformational coaching taught through my own personal coaches over the years to rewire thought-patterns and neuroplasticity, and enhance emotional well-being.
Our brains are amazing, and a lot of what may have impacted us CAN be reversed.
My focus is on managing our minds, thought-work, and deconstruction the socialized and dishonest thoughts in our brains keeping us from our success.
***NEWSFLASH***
YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS ARE NOT FACT!
Once you see behind the curtain of what is REALLY creating the challenges self-identified women face everyday, and how simple it is to stop it, you just can’t go back.
It’s life changing.
This worked for me and I CANNOT WAIT to share it with you!
Thanks for reading this far.
Talk soon,
~Charlie
*Mental Health Issues can also be a result of significant stress, anxiety, and difficulty and are of utmost concern. If you believe you are in danger of self-harm or harming another, we can provide you with resources, you should call 911, and also seek out certified and trained mental health and medical providers immediately.
